Self-regulation encompasses how you control and manage your emotions, inner resources, and abilities. It also includes your ability to manage your impulses. In this article, I’m going to on time-management and ensuring efficiency with my time.

Meaning

Let’s talk about what it means to manage/regulate ourselves (self-regulation) and others. When I think about managing others, I think about a common phrase:

Management is babysitting for adults.

Of course, Sue might argue with me on this, but it’s obviously true or she wouldn’t have written a compelling argument against it. I’m going to start by saying that I don’t think you should treat your employees as children. However, some employees give you no choice. You should treat people the way you would want to be treated – better yet, the way they want to be treated. That is, of course, until they show you that they can’t be treated that way anymore. Then you treat that person the way he/she needs to be treated until he/she has turned him/herself around. We’re starting down a dark trail here, so I’m going to pull us back on the main path.

Management is really about bringing people together to accomplish a common goal. Managers should think of themselves as an amazing coach; like Dean Smith. They run a team that has a common goal, such as winning the championship. However, if the team members aren’t like-minded, dedicated, hard-working, and honorable to the team, the end goal may never be seen.

When you’re self-regulating/managing, you are the team, but that doesn’t change the last three characteristics that you need:

Dedicated to yourself and your goals.
Hard-working and driven/self-motivated.
Honorable to yourself; never compromise your integrity.

Self-regulation allows you to hone in on your current objectives while not letting your future fall by the wayside. If you are missing some skills, you can take a class. If you have a lot on your plate today, you can re-prioritize your schedule to accomplish all of your tasks. You’re in control of the flow, so you get to decide, and you have no one to blame except yourself.

Goals

Goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. Yes, I’ve recently studied SMART goals.

Setting goals give you long-term vision and short-term motivation. It focuses your studying of knowledge and helps you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the most of your life.

Sounds a lot like self-management, doesn’t it? By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals. Setting both short and long-term goals that are relevant to a path, will aid you in attaining those long-term goals. You’ll see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. You will also raise your self-confidence, as you recognize your own ability and competence in achieving the goals that you’ve set.

Communication

The ability to communicate effectively is one of the most important skills you can hone. I recently was forced to read Crucial Conversations by my job. It wasn’t something against me personally, we read it as a team and did several group discussions about the topics in the book. It was, by far, the best self-improvement book that I’ve read in a long time, and I’ve read my fair share of self-improvement books.

In order to accomplish your personal goals, you will likely need to communicate with people. However, communicating is one of the most feared skills a human possess. That’s where Crucial Conversations comes in. It was pivotal for me in learning how to analyze a conversation as it was happening. I mean, I’m not perfect at doing it yet, but I have already started applying it … shhh, don’t tell my wife. Managing a team is that much more strenuous on your communication skills.

Being able to communicate well with your will change your life. Good communication skills don’t always mean that you’re nice. It means that you are able to keep a conversation safe and productive at the same time. When it’s a crucial conversation, it becomes significantly harder to do. Most people allow their emotions to get in their way. However, this cannot happen if you truly intend on reaching your goals. You will need to grab the reigns of your emotions and masterfully steer your way through a potentially difficult conversation.